Saturday, October 24, 2015

HOME EDUCATION and the QUIRKY CHILD - Part Two






PART TWO
So what is “Natural Education”? John Holt said “Learning is as natural as breathing”. But somewhere along the way learning became a chore, a task, a drudgery – and for a child who is on the autism spectrum, or quirky, or gifted, or a bit different, learning can be either joyfully easy in some areas, and at the same time painfully tiring in others.

To learn something new requires a certain amount of energy. If one is excited about the learning, motivated in some way, then the energy expended is hardly noticed. But if the learning is hard, slow, confusing – more energy is expended and often the learning is forgotten.

For me Natural Home Education means finding each child’s comfortable place with how they learn using just the right amount of “energy units” (which I will explain about later), and figuring out how I can facilitate and celebrate that learning appropriately.
Natural education starts for a baby at birth, well, probably before birth, but we can see it start at birth. There is so much gentle and unrushed learning that happens for a loved and nurtured baby. At this stage I would encourage the use of natural materials for clothes, bedding and toys. As a baby grows older try and keep them away from electronic and harsh toys. In fact anything labelled “educational toy” can probably be avoided. Everything is “educational” and items from nature are the best toys – sticks, pine cones, mud, sand etc. I don’t agree that every child benefits from preschool or kindergarten, it is something we decided against. Apparently, from what I have been hearing in America, and I guess it’s filtering down here, preschool teachers are becoming more and more despondent about the “academics”and testing required of the children, and the increased paperwork. A play-based, natural childhood is getting further and further away from these precious little ones who are put into the system.
Speaking of little ones - I’ve noticed a trend to create “sensory tubs” which look fun. They are themed large plastic containers – for instance an undersea sensory tub may contain marbles to represent water, and some plastic fish hiding, shells, little bucket and space - or a dinosaur sensory tub might have kinetic sand, plastic dinosaur figures and some farm set trees and bushes. Yes, Sensory tubs look wonderful, and a child could indeed enjoy playing with them, but I am concerned that they’re part of a www movement to trip mummys up and make them feel guilty for not providing such wonderful goodies for their children. If you pick the Sensory Tub idea apart basically you have to spend money on the plastic tub and the boys, put time into making it, get upset when it is scattered or lost or not played with nicely, store it all somewhere and then end up throwing it out or recycling the toys in a different game. I don’t have the time or energy for something like this, and when I see lovely ideas like this I can be inclined to feel guilty that the children are missing out on something - until I talk it over with a friend and I come back to what is important, what is natural, and the reason why I’m doing things this way.
So, our house is not completely void of toys - and after collecting and using them for over 20 years we’ve worked out which are the ones most appreciated by our children. Our toys are considered to be “resources” because the children still have to DO something all day, and as much as I’d like to spend most of the day outside, it just doesn’t happen. I’ve put a list of our favourite and most appreciated resources on the handout you have.

Just recently I saw a beautifully photographed blog post where the mother had made a “Maths Investigation Area” for her children. There was a lovely little wooden table holding a small blackboard with the numbers from 0 to 50 written on it, some nesting dolls, a basket of shells, one of smooth rocks, handmade maths gnomes with felt rainbow hats, a basket of plastic shapes ... lots of lovely things. It LOOKED lovely, but it made me a little cross as I thought about all the mums may feel guilty because they couldn’t provide that for their children, and I was cross about another thing – which I’ll explain in a minute.
I wondered if I was just getting a little cantankerous and intolerant in my old age, so I asked my daughter what she thought of the picture.
Well” she said “It looks nice, but it would all be scattered in a minute” (remember she has four little brothers, she knows about things getting scattered) “and” she continued, still looking at the picture “I wouldn’t want to play with the things afterwards because knowing they were there for maths would spoilt them for afterwards.”
Wise girl.
And so, my additional cross thoughts that I said I’d explain later were that a mother could get quite upset if a child won’t play with the items presented in the prescribed way – in a maths sort of a way – putting the sea shells from smallest to largest, making patterns from the plastic shapes. It’s a pretty sure thing that a quirky child with good play-skills will probably do something like bring four small cars to the maths investigation area, make a road out of the shells, pile the pattern pieces on top of each other to make a tall tower and then run the cars into them. The dolls will be ignored, the blackboard might be rubbed out to get rid of all those pesky numbers so a target can be drawn on, and the rainbow hatted gnomes will be lined up and have the marbles rolled at them.
And why do I think this? My first lesson in this sort of disappointment came when Michael was 3, I know because I’ve written it into my homeschool mumblings book. I wrote “Today is the 1st day of REAL realisation that I HAVE TO DO WHAT THE CHILDREN WANT TO DO if I want them to be learning and happy. Have been reading the Glen Doman books on Teach Your Baby To Read etc. Thought it sounded SO GOOD. *I* wanted to do it. Spent $10 on a thick red marker pen, Steve cut some cardboard into giant flashcards. I figured out a good list of words, wrote out quite a few flashcards, tried to get Michael’s attention. Failed. Felt like I might not be able to cope, picked myself up, decided to leave it for a while. Michael just wanted to play with the bits of cardboard, running cars up them, and taking the one with “SAW” written on it and using it as a saw. “No” says me getting a little frustrated– it’s not supposed to be that way. Lesson = listen to your child. Later wanted to make biscuits with Michael, he just wanted to play in the sink with the water. Ordered info on the ACE pre-school programme as I think earlier is better, but they say don’t start reading till at least SIX! Then I realised that I don’t want to do the programme. LISTEN TO MY INSTINCTS! Talked to Steve about it and it became clear that I really wasn’t happy about the way it seems to be too structured for what I want. Then I found a book called ‘Homeschool Burnout’ and YIPEE it’s great. NO CURRICULUM is best. Leave learning till a child is ready! Stuff I had read and heard before but now I really believe it. So the deal now – leave any “formal” learning till Michael shows his readiness. Reading, maths etc could be 6 or 7 – even 10. Hope I don’t waver when the time comes. I know there will be plenty of doubters but hopefully my support network will be strong.”
Well, I wish over the years I had returned to those thoughts more often. I wish I had heard a talk like this at the beginning of my journey. I did waver, I did push the older boys, I guess I got worried that I was failing them by allowing them so much freedom. I am blessed that we came through it relatively unscathed, and I am also blessed that I am so passionate about natural education now that these next children are benefiting from that passion.

End of Part Two



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