Sunday, November 22, 2015
Keep It Simple Birthday Celebrations
Another post from YEARS ago! Miss almost 7 is now 13.
**************************
We've noticed a "thing" happening in the world nowadays.
Children's birthdays are getting ... well ... extravagant.
When our littlest guy turned one we joked about what sort of party we would have for him. A bouncy castle, mini-jeeps, little quad-bikes, a clown, pony rides, a marquee and catering for 50.
Instead we sang "Happy Birthday" to him, gave him his teddy (which he has named Bare Bear) and had a biscuit after tea to celebrate.
When the next little guy up just turned 4 not so long ago he got a Lego set, a resin rabbit for his garden, a tiny little torch and a wonderful morning tea! It was just the family as usual, and the wonderful treats you see on the photo above.
Miss almost 7 has her birthday this week. We have a few treats tucked away and something nice planned for lunch. Tea will be something she has chosen and the day will be special for her.
I was talking to someone a while back who reminded me about children's parties when we were little (he was as ancient as me) in the 1970's. When mothers cooked the food like lamingtons, cherios (not cereal like in America - here in NZ they are little red sausages served with tomato sauce), ginger snaps with whipped cream in them, individual jellies, hundreds-and-thousands open sandwiches, tiny little savouries and of course a cake.
The games were pass the parcel, hunt the thimble, pin the tail on the donkey ...
For the majority now it seems those days are gone. Parents have 'better' ideas - they hire the entire gymnasium for an hour, and then take everyone to a restaurant afterwards or take 15 of their children's best friends for a horse trek or hire a bouncy castle and a juggler to put on a show or they get a "Party Organiser" to do the whole thing! And the parties get bigger and better (and subsequently more expensive) each year. Stress!! I'm aware that it's often the parents that enjoy this sort of thing, and if they don't mind the expense and the stress then that's up to them. But ... hmm ... I really recommend if the child is old enough that some consultation go on with the child as to what they would like, and clear limits be put in place (by both parent and children!).
Birthdays ARE specials days. A time to celebrate the life of the child - to thank the Lord for sending that specific child into that exact place in our family. But the hype and glamour is misplaced.
At another end of the scale we have people who don't celebrate birthdays at all. It isn't commanded in scripture, and if a child has problems with getting stressed with the anxiety or wound up with waiting, or perhaps becomes prideful and nasty on their special day, then a re-think on the celebrations might be necessary.
I would like to encourage parents to really go back to basics with birthdays for young children. Pray for direction and instruction. When a child is older they might specifically ask for something special, but having been brought up on a diet of simplicity and the quiet life I believe the requests won't be too extravagant (or expensive!).
Dark Times In Youth Fiction
I wrote this article in 2009 - I believe things have become darker in the intervening 6 years.
*****************************************************************************
Hi followers and other interested dropper-inners.
New Zealand is currently in the middle of "NZ Book Month".
On the envelope of my bank statement I see "Kids, read NZ books and we could take you to Auckland Zoo and "Shortland Street" !"
First up - kids can't read. Kids are young goats.
Secondly - Shortland Street (from my vague memories of it) is a New Zealand soap opera with adult themes, conflict and drama - not the sort of thing children need to be watching. So why would a child be excited about winning a trip to see the sets and meet the actors?
But most disturbing to me is the fact that I have done a little research into "Young Adult" fiction just recently - due to the fact that I have written (and am continually adding bits to!) a Young Adult fiction novel.
I was interested to see what other New Zealand authors were offering our youth.
And - by the way - Young Adult fiction is, apparently, read by 12 - 18 year olds.
A helpful librarian was ready to show me some recently published New Zealand Young Adult fiction books - but I stopped her and said "No fantasy." She hesitated a minute and said "Ok - right, that narrows it down quite a lot."
In the end I came home with five books for my initial read-through.
These five books were published from between 1999 and 2007.
None of them are books we would let our children read.
The first had a plot based on deception. It was very boring to slog through the story waiting for the character to be revealed as a fraud. None of the characters was particularly likeable, there was a lot of sneering and rudeness to each other. One out of ten for slightly humorous situations.
The second book might have been classed "edgy" or "gritty" - but even for an adult it was awful. Inapproriate relationships, crude language, dope smoking, suicide. Zero out of ten.
Third up - started out with historical interest went straight into foul language, inappropriate comments, moved into the occult with ghost speaking to our main character. Zero.
Fourth - Interesting setting, character finds a ring in a rockpool - when she puts it on she can't stop telling the truth even when it should be kept hidden. She finds a tarot card reader who helps her find out about the ring ... Occult. How easy for our children to be introduced to these things through books like these. Zero out of ten.
And the last one for this session - the main character had no redeeming qualities, she was snarky, self-centred, full of self-pity, moody, nasty to others, the other characters were shallow. A bit too wordy and descriptive for me - heaps of descriptive bits about estuary birds which I skipped over and I wouldn't think there would be a great number of young people who would read all that word for word. Near the end there is a potential for a plane crash, but main character saves the day - however it took 10 pages to describe the near crash and the safe landing. Another Zero I'd have to say.
Am I too hard to please?
Probably, but I only want the best for our children.
That's why our little children don't read fiction from the public library.
We read a really good story the other day about a man who had a big army, but God told him there were too many, and to send the ones who didn't want to fight home. Well, in the end there weren't many men left - but the battle was won!
Let's be very choosy folks. VERY choosy.
Monday, November 16, 2015
READING ALOUD TIME HINT
A post from my old blog when I had hundreds and hundreds of very small children ... or did it just feel that way? Oh, actually, looking at the post there were only TWO little boys using this system.
Our story listeners are now 13, 10, 8, 5 and 11 months. So I only really need to keep the 5yr old busy and the baby asleep during reading time.
*********************************************************************************
As mentioned previously, our family love our reading aloud sessions.
But its sometimes a problem to keep the little ones quiet when we read aloud.
NOT NOW!
Mummy has devised the following scheme.
Take some shoe boxes.
Put stickers on the boxes (we have two boys using this system at the moment so we have 1A 1B, 2A 2B, 3A 3B etc)
Put a collection of toys in them (1A may have three wooden blocks, a car, a tractor, a small doll; 1B may have some polished stones, a wooden bowl, a basket, a silk scarf, a small boat ... )
It goes without saying that we DO NOT put these type of things in our boxes - whistles, drums, clicky cars ... although some children have a knack of making ANY toy noisy! If that is the case, just keep training. :o)
Store the boxes in order.
When reading time comes put a blanket down for each child (not touching each other!) and say "Blanket time!!"
One child is the "A" child.
The other child is the "B" child.
"A" child gets box 1A
"B" child gets box 1B
They sit nicely on their blanket, and wait while Mummy puts the boxes down.
Mummy gets comfy and says "You may open your boxes".
Mummy reads, the other children draw, colour etc and the little boys play with the toys in their boxes.
When "A" child has been through all the "A" boxes (we have eight) he becomes the "B" child, and goes through all the "B" boxes.
The boxes do not come out unless we are reading, so the toys stay special.
The children also have a pillow or cushion on their blanket, so if they don't want to play with the toys they can cozy down and just listen to the story.
Our story listeners are now 13, 10, 8, 5 and 11 months. So I only really need to keep the 5yr old busy and the baby asleep during reading time.
*********************************************************************************
As mentioned previously, our family love our reading aloud sessions.
But its sometimes a problem to keep the little ones quiet when we read aloud.
NOT NOW!
Mummy has devised the following scheme.
Take some shoe boxes.
Put stickers on the boxes (we have two boys using this system at the moment so we have 1A 1B, 2A 2B, 3A 3B etc)
Put a collection of toys in them (1A may have three wooden blocks, a car, a tractor, a small doll; 1B may have some polished stones, a wooden bowl, a basket, a silk scarf, a small boat ... )
It goes without saying that we DO NOT put these type of things in our boxes - whistles, drums, clicky cars ... although some children have a knack of making ANY toy noisy! If that is the case, just keep training. :o)
Store the boxes in order.
When reading time comes put a blanket down for each child (not touching each other!) and say "Blanket time!!"
One child is the "A" child.
The other child is the "B" child.
"A" child gets box 1A
"B" child gets box 1B
They sit nicely on their blanket, and wait while Mummy puts the boxes down.
Mummy gets comfy and says "You may open your boxes".
Mummy reads, the other children draw, colour etc and the little boys play with the toys in their boxes.
When "A" child has been through all the "A" boxes (we have eight) he becomes the "B" child, and goes through all the "B" boxes.
The boxes do not come out unless we are reading, so the toys stay special.
The children also have a pillow or cushion on their blanket, so if they don't want to play with the toys they can cozy down and just listen to the story.
INSECT HABITAT
Some years back we visited an Eco show and saw this amazing, and very tidy, bug habitat.
We collected bits and pieces and came up with this:
Not quite like the original, but unique and made with love.
It stood for nearly a year, and was home to many insects, but unfortunately the predominant tenants were wasps which we're not keen on!
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Activities For Older Child
- drawing,
- painting,
- cooking,
- photography,
- birdwatching,
- reading,
- making plant displays in vases,
- making playdough,
- writing,
- making charts,
- lists to tick when out,
- brushing the dog,
- hide and seek,
- teaching the dog tricks,
- finding out new stuff about camera,
- writing people letters,
- making a swing,
- copying fancy fonts,
- posters – one for each bird,
- making soft toys,
- making dresses for dollies or teddies,
- crayon rubbings,
- chocolate leaves,
- trimming bushes,
- planting a little garden,
- making a nature movie
- making a hut,
- eating,
- making people files,
- making a miniature garden,
- looking for owl pellets,
- making a book,
- making a costume,
- writing a script,
- putting on old clothes and getting muddy (only with permission!),
- looking through old notebooks,
- making a weather station,
- making a treehut,
- cutting down a tree,
- practicing falling over painlessly,
- painting with water,
- making a boat to sail on pond,
- wall art in bedroom,
- knitting a scarf,
- looking at the stars,
- make an ant house,
- make a miniature scene,
- start a diary,
- illustrate poems,
- paint by numbers,
- decorate an old shirt with markers,
- bible journalling,
- learn shorthand,
- pressing flowers,
- making bookmarks,
- making little nature things to sell,
- make birdy afternoon tea,
- go far from house and do silly singing,
- make a giant nest to sit in.
- crosstitch,
- gathering seeds,
- learning/practicing an instrument,
- memorising scripture,
- biking,
- nature collection (in basket),
- make paper for letters,
- make a leaf crown,
- rubber stamping,
- finger painting,
- cardmaking,
- woodworking,
- weeding the garden,
- painting,
- making a balm,
- make a bird feeder,
- paper planes,
- make a puppet,
- box television,
- bubbles,
- paper plate masks,
- make a castle,
Wonderful Activities
Last year when I was pregnant, I made this list of activities that we could all do with our 5 year old to keep him busy.
You might enjoy some of them too - because I wrote it out quickly you might not understand some of them - just drop me a comment if anything needs more explanations!
****
THINGS TO DO WITH JOEY
Take books under Greenwood tree and
read to him
newspaper under feet and scoot along
“walking” or “running”
screwed up bits of newspaper in a box –
all have to be opened because one has a “prize” in it
teddy/dolly hospital: bandages,
handkies, pretend lotion, use stethescope and make “notes”
go outside and quickly gather 6 items:
give him a box and he needs to find 6 matching items with you i.e.,
willow leaf, plantain “flower”, dandelion
electronic typewriter closely
supervised
make a bong-line- use loose parts from children's garden
peg in bottle – 2 pegs opposite ends
of bit of string, peg one to bottom of shirt, get other into a glass
Heinz pasta sauce bottle
make about five large fish out of
cardboard, make lips into an “o” and cut out centre, use fishing
line and stick, put opened paperclip on end and try to catch, or
hang fishing line over your ear
2 pillowcases with matching items at
each end of lounge – Joey pulls one item out and then has to race
to other side of lounge and without looking, just feeling, try to
find matching item
items on tray – what have I taken
away? Also do this outside with natural finds
play money – teach him one or two at
a time – i.e., one day teach 10c and 20c pieces
sewing cards – cut shapes out of
cardboard and punch holes around outside then tape a piece of wool
to card, wrap sellotape around end of wool to make “needle”
chalk on deck anyhow he likes
hopscotch on deck, or a line with
numbers he needs to hop on number as you call it
board game on deck with a huge die made
from a cardboard box
blindfold and crawl outside, bang the
pot/bucket outside
ziplock bag with three blobs of paint –
red, blue and yellow. Seal bag Joey to squish
drawing – overlap squares, triangles
or circles and then colour
nature weaving, remember to put
newspaper behind the cardboard when putting the warp threads over
the cardboard. Remove newspaper then there will be space for nature
finds to be woven in.
Make butterfly rings for fingertips,
then go outside to dance them around the flowers
make a large wet-felted ball for Joseph
to play with
bowl of water with a coin in the
bottom, try to get another coin to land on the top of the first one
make strip of cardboard with six
squares numbered 1-6. Gather six items. Roll die and cover
whichever number you roll with the item – use button, stone, small
toy etc.
cup of tea set
Lego
Duplo
Tikes Peak
playdough
real cooking
pretend washing up
gather cloths from kitchen and get Joey
to wash them in a basin and hang on a line we have put up
bubble play in the outdoor kitchen sink
teach him to take turns with kicking or
rolling a ball back and forth
card games – memory, fish,
tutor system
paint with water on the deck with large
paintbrush
big paper, big paintbrush, paint in
cardboard egg containers, three colours, do this on GRASS!
Watering strawberries
take pop-up tent under a tree with
blanket, book and snacks
DON'T HAVE THE EXPECTATION THAT HE
WILL STICK TO EVERY GAME
HOME EDUCATION and the QUIRKY CHILD - Part Thirteen
Let me now talk about 'FLOW' or being “In The
Zone”
When an adult or child is deep in play, when they are
absorbed in a task, a game, work or a conversation then they are said
to be in “flow”. That's the name psychologists give it. People in
the 70's and 80's might have called it “being in the groove” or
“being in the zone”!!
Some people expend a lot of energy units trying to find
out HOW to be “in the zone”. It's got a lot to do with what you
are passionate about, what sparks your interest, what you love. So
children who are given freedom to spark in many directions will
naturally come across something that grabs their interest and want to
pursue it deeper. We have found one really good tool for this is
Pinterest – which if you haven’t heard of it is basically an
online, less messy version of having a scrapbook of pictures you
like.
Supervised use of the internet for older children can be
very beneficial for tools like Pinterest. The other day our daughter
said she’d like to get back into it after a break of a few months
(she has been extremely busy with playing the piano and sharing the
care of our new baby with me). I suggested she make a whole new
board. “Hmm .. what about?” she said. I rattled off some things
she’s been talking about lately, and some ideas off the top of my
head “topiary, hair styles, jewellery, stained glass, bags, art
supplies …” she had some ideas to run with and she worked very
happily until someone else wanted to use the computer. When I look
at my Pinterest boards I think how wonderful it is to have so many
rich and varied visuals of things I like – every basket, craft,
shoe, skirt, headcovering, doll, landscape, art idea – every
single picture is something I chose because it appealed to me. If,
one day, I am bored, then I can go to my Pinterest boards and be
inspired with something to do.
Actually, handcrafts are MAJORLY important in a person’s
life. Every child should have the opportunity to have a go at
various handcrafts. Charlotte Mason advised that those crafts should
be USEFUL and BEAUTIFUL. Look up Charlotte Mason – she’s got a
lot of good things to say about raising children.
When a child figures out what they are interested in,
what challenges and excites them then they can engage in an activity
and get in ‘flow’ or ‘in the zone'. We can never measure
brain growth and lessons in concentration and satisfaction gained
during these moments. But I believe we must trust that that being
‘in flow’ is VERY HEALTHY for adults and children alike.
WHAT CAN I PROVIDE FOR NATURAL HOME EDUCATION?
I believe the most precious things for a child are
1) time with a wise and knowledgeable person who loves
them and
2) time to be quiet and think, even if they want to
leave an activity suddenly because something has interested them so
greatly that they want to think it out quietly.
Put a lot of value on conversations, dialogue back and
forth, listening to what the children are thinking. Draw thoughts
from them, but be sensitive about whether to expound on their
thoughts or leave them alone. If a child is puzzling something out
they might not want a solution given to them. If someone is sharing
their dream they might not want an analysis made of it.
For some children it can be extremely challenging
communicating their thoughts. And it can also be very frustrating if
people try to rush them, guess what they are going to say, or try and
finish the end of their sentence. We have a child who struggles with
keeping thoughts in his brain if someone interrupts, or if his
thought process is interfered with in any way. He can't hang on to
the thought during the interruption. His mind goes blank. It
infuriates him.
In
closing I’d like to say that learning naturally with quirky
children often seems messy, chaotic, confusing and unfulfilling. But
just like this talk that started out as notes scribbled at 2am when I
was feeding the baby, and then morphed into a jumbled of typed notes,
eventually some order started to appear. It’s only when our
quirky children are older, and they thank you for not sending them to
school, thank you for giving them time and space to grow into who
they are, and they look at their quirky friends who did not have that
same freedom – then you see there was order, there was reason,
there was a massive amount of learning going on, and you’ll be
incredibly grateful you did it this way.
Our
quirky children can
possess abilities to achieve in some incredible areas like: ability
to concentrate, dependability, honesty, loyalty, analytical skills,
ability to become a different persona thereby entertaining and
teaching others, enthusiasm for subjects of interest, artistic,
mathematical … the list goes on, I have yet to the find the end!
So
if your child is quirky, or even if they are regular, but ESPECIALLY
if your child is quirky, please provide a safe and comfortable
childhood for them with just the right amount, but not an
overwhelming number of challenges. And when your quirky children
present you with all sorts of difficult behaviour every hour of the
day we MUST REMEMBER that we need to REJOICE in who our children are,
and do everything we can to allow their iridescence to shine.
*******************************************************
This ends the extremely lengthy series of articles from my early 2015 talk. Thanks for reading it - I hope you found something enjoyable/thought provoking/a blessing to your family. Please don't hesitate to leave a comment to encourage, or if necessary, tell me off for something I've said wrong!
HOME EDUCATION and the QUIRKY CHILD - part Twelve
A
BIT ABOUT FAMILY RULES AND GOALS
I
really encourage all families whether schooled, home schooled,
unschooled – whatever - all families need to work out what is
important to them. Write family goals and rules on a poster with
maybe educational goals too. Put it where people can see it and refer
to it once in a while – monthly, every couple of months – perhaps
put a reminder on the calendar to read through it at tea time. Don't
expect children to remember them if you only talk about it once, then
its put away. Then, if an opportunity comes along that you need to
consider for your family like a trip, or a group to join, or an
activity, you can filter it through the light of your family goals.
Would this opportunity bring you closer to the goal, or further away?
Now,
having older children I realise the importance of reviewing your
goals and not staying fixed in your thinking if you want your
relationship to be healthy with them. There will be not-negotiable
rules whilst they are under your roof, but other goals or rules may
have to be changed especially where a child or children are not
“regular”, and at the time of making the rules or goals you
didn't know what sort of challenges would meet you on the road ahead.
Things can become further confused if a child seems to be making
great progress with a skill they had previously had major challenges
with – but that skill was being learned whilst participating in an
activity which you have previously made a decision against for your
family. For example, if you have a child who has trouble in social
situations, but they join a club and make friends, and are extremely
motivated to go along because they love what the club is teaching
then that’s good. But if the club is say The Homekill Club where
members learn humane and efficient ways to dispatch and package
cattle, sheep and goats AND one of your family goals was that
everyone would be a vegan … well, that is the sort of thing that
must be decided by the family only.
Once
again – your family – your challenges - your decisions. Take
them to The One who created your family – the One who picked each
member and put them into the exact right position according to His
perfect plan. Home Education gives you the freedom to make and
change your rules as situations change. If you are blessed with
someone who will support you, that person should be relatively aware
of the struggles you have, and know your long-term goals for your
family.
There
is a quote by Ruth Beechick that says
“Homeschoolers are admirably
dedicated people, and that very dedication often leads them to choose
the hard-work, ineffective approaches rather than the natural,
effective approaches. They feel the natural ways are too gentle. They
feel they’re not doing a good job unless the work is difficult
almost to the point of frustration.
I
rejoiced when I heard that news from such a well respected educator.
Natural Education works. And I like the term Natural education
because it really means whatever feels natural to you!
Some
children love workbooks – provide them. Natural education is what
is natural to your child. Some children dislike books or any
writing at all – don't labour over it. If it's important to you
that your child learns to write clearly then little by little over
the years have them train their body and hand – with basic natural
toys, and large muscle work outside, fiddly construction toys, then
holding a pencil scribbling, drawing … writing will come when they
are ready. Bear in mind that children with neurological differences
– wiring in their brain different to the average person – may
have other difficulties which are not apparent at first. For example
I am just doing some research on Dygraphia which is a
neurologically-based learning disability that affects handwriting.
If
your child is having challenges in this area and you’re past
thinking that he’ll ‘get it’ when he’s ready – if you are
genuinely concerned you may be seeing a real problem that could need
a little help.
I
think what we need to keep within sight with Natural Education is
that if the child is happy to do work on an area of challenge, then
it’s going to be worth it. If there are tears and struggles,
mental fatigue and stress then it really isn’t worth it at all.
People will tell you that all achievements have a cost of some sort.
That may be true, but for children with other challenges you really
have to pick THE MOST IMPORTANT things to work on or struggle with,
and only YOU as the parent can decide what is more important.
I
am going to set aside a few weeks shortly to work on something that
is needed in our family. It is the very sensible rule of PUT ONE
GAME AWAY BEFORE YOU GET ANOTHER OUT. I have been working on this
for about 20 years now, so *I* am very good at it. But enforcing it
is VERY tiring. So I need to ensure that I have energy enough, and
can set up enough situations when it suits me to work on that skill.
At some point I will need to make a decision and say OK WE’VE
WORKED ON THAT LONG ENOUGH – TIME TO STOP!
And
now, a short word about “Keeping Up With Other People”. I wonder
if this starts for a new mummy when a snide remark is passed at an
anti-natal class by a swanky know-it-all mother “My baby is
rolling, and
grabbing at things already – is yours?” I wonder if these
remarks come from a place of insecurity, or blatent bare-faced empty
pride. It’s certainly empty to brag about an milestone that had
nothing to do with any effort you made. And it could make the new
mummy rather insecure in her own mothering, or concerned about her
baby’s “late” development.
I
saw a case study recently of a young guy who was struggling at school
– not only academically, but socially too. Yes, he has Asperger’s.
His mother took him out of school, but became burned out very
quickly as it took ALL DAY to sit at the table and get him to achieve
his required amount of work. She was attempting to get him to
complete the same amount of work as his schooled peers. BIG MISTAKE.
UNNECESSARY. I guess she wanted to be able to integrate him back
into the school system when his challenges had lessened or gone away.
Which they wouldn’t. Probably. Adults are cautioned not to try
and keep up with the Joneses. I know that is pretty much in relation
to material things, but the same applies to children and education.
Nobody should have to KEEP UP WITH anybody else. When
you think about it its quite ABSURD that these children whom, right
from the start we are told that each child is different, are suddenly
at age 5 (or younger now) are to be pushed or held back to attain
some kind of benchmark decided by someone who doesn’t even know
that child!
It
pains me to see children on the autism spectrum struggling to keep up
academically with their neurotypical peers when it might be so much
more beneficial for that child to be putting the same amount of
energy into life skills and pursuing their strengths. It seems to be
from what I have experienced, and from speaking to others that quirky
children are often blessed or gifted in one or two particular areas
and it seems a horrible waste and drudgery to expect those children
to “conform” to the world’s standards. A
terrible waste and drudgery.
To say nothing of the meltdowns, shutdowns and ruined relationships
that go along with the stress involved in trying to keep up with the
world in general.
I’m
not finished with my rant about that actually because it pains me to
see any child be expected to keep up with a certain “standard”.
We are often asked what GRADE the children are in. I don’t know
and it makes no difference. I saw recently where someone was
returning to New Zealand with their school aged children. The person
was asking if they needed to put the children in school whilst they
got an exemption for those children. Someone suggested that
actually, if the children did go to school during the time it took to
get the exemption together, it would be a good idea to get the school
to assess what grade the children were at. Just my opinion but it
isn’t necessary to know what grade they were in. If someone wants
to buy say a maths book and you’re not sure what level to start at
– go to the website and look at the free sample pages and decide
from there. Enough already about keeping up with the Joneses!
I’D
LIKE TO TALK ABOUT ENVIRONMENT
Some
children and adults are very sensitive to their environment –
sunlight, fluorescent lights, colour, noise, movement. Some people
may be sensitive to only one or two things, but others are weighed
down constantly by everything all at once. Think about a classroom.
Think about noise and activity and distraction and smell there is so
much to take in all at once and people dropping things and laughing
and whispering and oh no – someone just asked you a question, whose
voice was that? Was it the teacher? And did someone just walk past
in a nose-watering, eye stinging cloud of cloying perfume … And
now, go in your mind to a beautiful, hushed, cozy quiet space where
being in the zone is easy – there may be books, quiet music,
warmth, light, soft furnishings, beanbags, lava lamps, muffled
sounds. Can I be in a busy, noisy environment? Yes, but it takes a
toll, at a cost. If I’m in the supermarket I keep my eyes on the
task, and I often have a song going round my head helping me cope.
This sort of situation is a lot harder for some of my children, but
we are learning to cope when we need to, and avoiding it when we can.
I
know there are people who genuinely care in schools, and they try to
make the environment as hospitable as possible to quirky children, to
make it homely and comforting, quiet where possible. But they can't
make it like home because it isn't home.
I
think of how much I am learning with natural education. I don’t
know what Grade I am in – I learn at my own pace with my own
interests. Yes, sometimes I need to learn about something I would
rather not do, and I try to have a positive attitude towards it. An
example of something I’ve enjoyed learning with is a game I
invented where I printed pictures of famous people from history, and
glued the pictures onto index cards. You can use famous landmarks
too. On the back of the index card you write the name of the person
or place. It's a guessing game but it can also spark interest for a
child – why was Suliman the magnificient famous and why did he wear
such a silly big turban? Why do we get Francis Drake mixed up with
Walter Raleigh – were they both around at the same time? This is a
great game to get out when you have quirky or history-loving
visitors.
It’s
been fun for me, and also for Esther, going through a really
excellent grammar book with her. We see how much we already know,
which is actually quite a lot, learned naturally through
conversations and reading. Some of the grammar rules are a bit
tricky, but I figured we would cover the basics (which means talking
about them), and if she is interested later she can come back and
study them herself. When there are good feelings associated with a
task i.e., sitting comfortably, quietly, no stress, then child feels
that resource is a friend. Some children feel this more acutely than
others. If a resource is used in a stressful situation like a time
pressure, too much noise, people walking around behind them, a small
child on a skateboard going up and down the kitchen floor humming
happily to himself … then the resource isn’t thought of fondly
next time it comes out.
Another
word on resources – if you have, say a box of wooden shapes, and
you give it to your child and say “This is how these shapes are
supposed to be used” – then you might have just totally squashed
any creative thought and enjoyment your child may have had with that
resource. Much better to present the resource and let them play
quietly without interference. Of course, there are limits – we may
not put the wooden pieces in our yoghurt, or use them to saw the side
of the table.
NOW
just a bit on children not doing what they’re SUPPOSED to do.
It
seems that some of our children have delighted in taking a task and
running their own way with it. If they want to do some pages on a
workbook and it says “circle the picture that is different on each
line” a quirky child may circle the first one or two, then decide
to put a box around the next one, and to colour in the next one, and
put an x on the last one. I have two children like this – one big
one and one little one. I used to stress and think “He must learn
to follow instructions and stay with the task” but now I leave
following instructions for when it matters, and the book can be
completed in a fun way as long as he respects that Daddy's money
bought the book and we don't wreck it. When he's had enough it goes
away for next time. My grown-up child who has the trait of
struggling to do what he is told has proved that as you mature it can
still be a crippling trait, a major energy drain and a huge
challenge, but it can be used for good too.
Someone
came up with the analogy that we all have a certain amount of energy
units to expend per day. You may use say 3 energy units having a
shower and breakfast, 4 to get some housework done, 6 to get one
child to sit and do their maths, 1 to help someone choose between a
jigsaw puzzle and Lego …
Well,
some people have less energy units to start with. And we all use up
a different number of units for seemingly the same thing. A child
who made you use up 6 of your energy units doing their maths probably
used a heap of their own as well. We use maths books for our older
children, but my chosen way to use them, which uses the LEAST
POSSIBLE energy units, is by picking a quiet moment and saying “Shall
we do some maths?” If the child wants to I will say “Let’s do
some till you’ve had enough.” This might sound very airy fairy,
hug the trees to some people, but I have to NOT CARE about “people”.
This works for us. My five year old, that I don’t “DO”
maths with, was correctly counting backwards the other day – I
haven’t “taught” him that. And he was puzzling that nine was
in the wrong place. I couldn’t quite work out what he was
thinking, but I was so excited that something very interesting was
going on in his head and it wasn’t using hardly any energy units at
all.
Some
children with challenges have more than enough to deal with in
ordinary life – tooth brushing, hair care, the seams of clothes
rubbing, someone due to come at what time, when will they come, what
time is it now, I'm doing this now, what will I be doing next? Some
children show you that they’re using up far too many energy units
- or worse HAVE COMPLETELY RUN OUT by yelling, getting confused,
flapping their arms, clapping their hands, hands over ears,
screaming, rocking or other behaviour. Sometimes if they are in a
different environment they may suppress that behaviour at a greater
cost.
HOME EDUCATION and the QUIRKY CHILD - Part Eleven
Now,
I promised that I would tell you about the word “Apparently”.
When
our older boys started to be interested in dinosaurs (actually, just
off on another random thing here – there are lots of subjects that
children are drawn to for some reason, it's fun to make a list of
them – start with dinosaurs, pirates, sharks, space travel, robots,
knights and castles, horses, dogs, cats, dancing, music … the
world is full of very exciting things to learn – and natural
education methods don't squash or spoil a child's desire to learn and
keep learning into adulthood. Oh oh – another rabbit trail sorry, I
will eventually get back to the “apparently” thing, but I just
wanted to share something that happened to me in relation to LEARNING
NEW THINGS.
A
few years after leaving school, I was working for a lawyer by that
time, I had a sudden and intense desire to learn things. People asked
why I wasn't studying for my legal executive qualifications, but I’d
known for many years that I wanted to be a secretary, and enjoy that,
until my real job of being a mum came along. I thought that being a
legal executive was a rather dull job compared with being a secretary
then a Mum. I loved being a secretary even though the interaction
with the public made me mentally very tired (I didn’t understand
that now, but if I had I am sure I could have worked something out to
make my life a little more enjoyable during that time). But anyway,
yes, I guess I was about 19 and I wanted to learn things – I
wanted INPUT!
I
wondered if you were allowed to go into the library and get random
books out on random subjects just to learn things. I wondered if
someone would question me “are you doing a course on this? Why do
you want to know this?” I thought that learning things only
happened within a certain constraint – that of a course,
or a class.
It took me many years before I could break free of this thinking –
probably when we started unschooling. But the freedom to learn things
JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE INTERESTING is wonderful and dizzying!
And
now, yes, back to the word APPARENTLY
Remember
I started by saying that when our older boys were interested in
dinosaurs I would get books out of the library and read “dinosaurs
roamed the earth in the days before man” Nobody had told me about
evolution, I didn't even know there was a name for it – it was just
what everyone thought (or so I was lead to believe). The lie of that statement is of course that
not EVERYONE thinks evolution is truth – even if that is what you
find in 99.9% of the library books. In fact, over the years following
we discovered great big holes and lies paraded as truth in the theory
of evolution, and then our eyes were opened to the fact that God
created everything in the world.
And
so I realised that I should have been reading those books, back when
I didn't know much about that subject and saying “Apparently,
dinosaurs roamed the earth in the days before man”.
Adding
the word “apparently” means “I have no personal proof that this
statement is correct, but I have no reason to disbelieve it at this
point.”
Think
of the map of the world – apparently that is what the world looks
like.
Apparently,
all or most health professionals in the field of women's health were
lead to believe there was something called a lactiferous sinus – to
do with milk production and breastfeeding. But, apparently in 2005
new research suggested that the lactiferous sinus did not exist. The
cross-section diagram of the breast had to be redrawn and corrected.
It's
a bit clunky to have to say APPARENTLY all the time, but use it
enough and your child will get the idea that we need to learn to use
discretion and logical thinking in life. Wisdom is not the same thing
as knowledge, and the sooner someone works that out the happier they
will be in their lives.
I
was just reminded then of a little hint I have for not killing a
subject – if a child expresses interest in a something it’s good
to look through a book, inviting them to join in, and dependent on
the age and stage of the child to read the captions under the
pictures – only just that. If they ASK for more information read a
little more. My husband remembers so clearly the feeling of tedium
as the teacher would drone “get out your textbook and read page 6.”
What if the child flicked through the book and was extremely
interested in the picture and information on page 14? Should he read
that? Is he allowed to? I guess it depends on how he feels about
learning. About what the system has taught him.
If
you use a textbook make sure it’s a good one. Not dry. Not so
concise that it misses all the best parts of the subject in an effort
to cover too much. Read through the whole book, looking at the
pictures, reading the captions, commenting on things, skip bits that
nobody is interested in, ask questions of your own – not testing
the child, but things you genuinely wonder about. “I wonder why …”
and “I wonder if …” are BRILLIANT questions to ask your
children. If they don’t want to think about it right then they’ll
either ignore you, or quickly pull an answer from the PRIMARY
THINKING part of
their brain. These Primary Thinking answers are often something like
“Dunno” or “Hm” . If something has grabbed their attention
and they dig back into the SECONARY THINKING part of their brain they
might come up with something really good.
I
think it might be frustrating for a very bright child when they're
having a book read to them to be continually asked “how many of
those can you count?”, or “what colour is the big one?” or “and
that's a ….” The bored child will mostly likely glance at the
dolphin and say “cow”
“no”
you will gently correct “it's a dolphin.”
Gauge
your child’s interest and their desire to answer questions. Some
children delight in it – for others you will be squashing any
interest they may have.
John
Taylor Gatto – New York Teacher of the Year three years running,
now homeschooling advocate, tells of a time when he told his class
to tear the question pages out of the end of each chapter of the
“study” version of Moby Dick. He said that a classic book should
be read and enjoyed and chewed over on a personal level, then perhaps
shared with others if you want to. When the book is read again there
will be more questions in a reader's mind, something that wasn't
noticed last time. If we can keep this in mind with all topics that
we present to a child, or they bring to us it will keep our
relationship with them healthier and their desire to learn will be
stronger and more exciting.
I
think of this when I read of families having a topic that they keep
for an entire month or term – whether it is a country (where they
would learn some of the language, the food, exports, imports,
traditional dress etc), or a certain period in history, or castles or
horses – any subject really. Whilst I think it sounds fun I know
that our family would feel like they were labouring over the topic
and I would be under stress to keep everyone on task … in the end
it wouldn't be worth it for us. Too much stress, too much work and
the result and the retained learning wouldn't justify that.
NATURAL EDUCATION and the QUIRKY CHILD - Part Ten
A
friend of mine recently made a comment that because of some major
things that happened to her as a child that took control away from
her it has led to some problems in her adult life that she could
easily do without.
This
led me to research self-regulation some more and think about the
whole process of finding a balance. I think if anyone teaches an
“all or nothing” mentality “follow my teachings and my
directions 100% or you will FAIL” there will be big problems if a
family wants to give certain teaching a try, but feels that any
deviation from the way it is specifically taught will be certain
failure and the feeling that they didn’t try hard enough. Not naming names, but there is a certain baby training program that I know works this way, and also some child training advice that goes along these lines.
I know
for myself, that without any pressure from outside I put a lot of
pressure on myself when we had our 5th
baby and I wanted to do elimination communication – otherwise known
as infant potty training. I wanted to do an ALL OUT excellent try at
it. That baby was out of a nappy for most of his first months and
every few days I would note when he woke in the night, whether he was
wet, or wanted to use the potty, after a few months I became totally
exhausted, mentally and physically.
I
gave myself permission to give up and put a nappy back on, but I felt
that it wouldn’t be fair on the baby at that point, and I couldn’t
give up the hope that this was really going to work if I stuck at it.
We reach a point around 4 months where he would throw himself back
as soon as I held him over the potty and he got very angry about it.
So, he made the decision for us, and I backed right off. In the end
he was toilet trained very quickly and easily when the time was
right, and he was dry at night at an earlier age than any of our
other boys. Our 6th
baby was VERY part-time held over the potty, once again he was
completely potty trained relatively easily and dry and night in good
time. Our 7th
and latest baby has been held over the potty a lot since birth and
our communications are very good. He has a lot of wet nappies, and
some dirty ones too - but everything is going well because my
ATTITUDE towards doing it is more healthy – my main focus is the
working on COMMUNICATION between my baby and me. I am hoping that
my baby feels he is loved and respected because of my attitude
towards him. He is going to start doing baby sign language soon –
well, as soon as he figures out how to control his hands and arms –
we can see him watching us when we sign “up” before we pick him
up, the little cogs are turning in his brain, it is very precious to
see.
Perhaps
if communication, understanding and respect are held very highly then
areas of self-regulation can be agreed upon between parents and
children. I think this could be very healthy, and when I look at our
family I realise we have already done this without putting it into
words. But, having now clarified that thought more I will watch to
see where we can give the children more areas of self-regulation for
the good of everyone short-term and long-term.
As
I do, I happened to be reading a case study of an 11 year old school
child who was fidgety, bored, in trouble for being “off task”,
suspected of having ADHD, daydreaming, not learning basic information
required by the district and state curriculum standards,
underachieving although tested in the 99th
percentile … blah blah blah … His mother noted that this child’s
father was also very high energy and the boy and his Dad would spend
time building rockets together and that the child could sit still for
hours when engaged in challenging work of his own selection. The
article went on to say that the child, who was obviously gifted,
needed to learn self-regulation strategies plus an individual set of
skills to achieve in the classroom …
About
this point in reading I got angry because they had TOTALLY MISSED THE
POINT. This child was bright! He was motivated in areas of
interest! He loved spending time with his father, building rockets!
WHY should he put so much energy and waste his childhood on learning
to conform to classroom standards and behaviour when he had so many
gifts and skills ready and waiting to blossom and give to the world.
People might say “But you have to learn to conform in the classroom
– it’s training for the real world.” By their own admission
people are then saying that the classroom is not the real world –
TRUTH - the classroom is so FAR REMOVED from the real world because
when one grows up one hardly ever has to sit for hours and hours,
day after day, year after year in classes full of people all the
same age as you, pushing information into your head only be
regurgitated at the end to pass a test and be given a grade which may
subsequently lead to a piece of paper to show you listened and
remembered or cheated.
Actually,
speaking of exams – as I mentioned before we don’t do tests and
exams. When we
had our first and only review with the ERO the gentleman said “How
do you know the boys are learning if you don’t test them.” I
thought about it for a while, and God gave me the right words
“Because when we come around on a subject the second time they’ll
excitedly tell me what they’ve remembered.”
One
more point about qualifications: I do believe, from what I hear in
relation to home educated graduates, that people “out in the world”
are becoming more and more canny in relation to employing home
educated young people – despite many of them not having formal
qualifications. It also
seems that a lot of home ed graduates take off with their own
businesses pretty early if that’s where their skills and passions
take them.
Are there instances where a
self-regulated child may struggle because they have to do something
they don’t enjoy? YES? Everyone has those – often in relation
to things like GST returns or unblocking the sink or taking the
half-dead bird out of the cat’s mouth because mummy doesn’t want
to touch it. But a self-regulated person who has been taught good
character skills, who SEES THE POINT in having to do these unpleasant
tasks receives enough self-motivation to achieve a positive result.
“What’s in it for me” – the question that some people have
trouble pushing to the back of their mind, could be answered “I
want to help Mum” or “it would kind for this person, and I would
like kindness done to me so I will do this”. Oh Boy! Do unto
others, as you would have them do unto you. Sounds like the golden
rule comes in very handy here. AND I believe this is a massive,
massive part of finding the right place to teach and train these
children and allow them to blossom and grow – not only the golden
rule – but all of scripture! God’s word to us today, now,
relevant as the day it was written. Pray! Ask God for His
direction. Does it sound like cheating? It’s not – it’s the
plan! The way it should be. God is big enough and yet cares enough
about even the smallest things. Doing this without God is pretty
much like jumping overboard into a stormy sea without a lifejacket,
nothing to hold onto, no companions, no light and no hope of being
saved.
Well,
there you are, I did warn you that I’m pretty passionate about
these subjects – I’m just so sad when I see people who haven’t
heard or figured these things out for themselves and they are
struggling without hope. I struggle, a lot. I have major
challenges to cope with every day, but my struggle is not alone. I’m
God’s child and He has promised never to leave me or forsake me.
He also promised never to give me more than I can cope with. And
he’s given me solid, dependable friends that remind me of God’s
promises when I feel myself slipping into the dark depths.
Whether
or not you allow your children to self-regulate it can be quite
tricky explaining some of the choices you have made for your family
to people. Some people are only expressing a polite interest, others
may want to gather information to use against you maliciously – I
would never have believed that until it happened to me. Laughable
now, but not at the time, was the fact that one of the allegations my
attacker used against me was the fact that I taught the children
basic sign language. From my point of view this is a fantastic tool
as I mentioned earlier – babies learn they can communicate with you
from very early on, and older children don't have to panic if they
need to signal from across a roomful of people. But the way it was
used maliciously against me made me sound like a hateful tyrant who
controlled and manipulated my scared and down-trodden children
secretly by the use of signs so nobody else knew what was going on.
If
you have made choices for your family that others may not understand
and will probably disagree with it's better to keep it quiet unless
- someone needs your advice
- some wants to support you
- you are very brave, or
- you have the ability to genuinely not care about what anyone else thinks.
I
recently heard of a mother who allows her child unrestricted access
to a certain computer game when necessary. This particular child has
bi-polar disorder, and during certain episodes the noise and
confusion in her head stops her from sleeping or functioning
normally. At those times she can be calmed and distracted by
concentrating on this certain computer game.
These
sort of decisions are not a subject to be decided by others – to be
picked over in what I call “Smoko room gossip” where people tend
to repeat phrases they've heard and think they agree with even though
they haven’t lived with it, researched it, or even
thought about it at all.
Dr Libby Weaver is quoted as saying “Don’t judge someone’s
story by the chapter you just walked into.”
People
can so easily perpetrate myths and endorse certain ideas unknowingly
depending on who they are speaking to. It can be difficult standing
up to these people, trying to explain things, and very hurtful if the
information comes back to you via other channels. You may have
heard of the saying: “The best form of defence is attack”.
Attack is not
the
most effective
and efficient
form of defence, but people may attack if they feel pushed into a
corner – especially some people on the autism spectrum. And
parents may use “attack” when faced with a challenging behaviour
from a quirky child. I am trying to teach myself to “respond”
but not “react” to difficult behaviours. It’s easy to talk
about, but many times a day with one of our little guys who has
emotional regulation dysfunction I have to make a BIG effort to
“respond” but not “react” to his anger and frustration.
It
is said that when you practise something you get good at it. This is
wonderful if you practice the fruits of the spirit – love, joy,
peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness,
temperance, but if you practice harshness, criticism, hate, envy,
greed … all those negative, hurtful things then you’re wasting
your life, and you’re pulling everyone around you down.
So,
having said all that I think it is a great reminder that we need to
teach our children to be sensitive and understanding of what other
people are going through which may be a real challenge if they lack
empathy. It is also a VERY GOOD IDEA to model the honourable art of
“Minding Ones Own Business” Also it should be a regular and
natural thing to discuss discernment and logical thinking.
I
highly recommend the logic books by the Bluedorn Brothers –
information for those is on your sheet, and Barbara sells them. If
you have children over 12 it would be a VERY good idea to buy a copy
of the Fallacy Detective before you leave here, and start reading it
when you get home. Then put it on the shelf, and get it down again
after a while. Read it often! If your children are younger than 12
get the book for yourself and be ready to teach them about logic in a
conversational way.
Just
to finish this part of my talk I want to let you know that even an
extremely diligent and dedicated parent can be picked on and trodden
down, which is so damaging when you're already fragile from coping
with everyday life. And I've heard it said that most parents are
under scrutiny of some sort. But the parents of a special needs
child, and, I would add – a HOME EDUCATED child, are under more
scrutiny than others. This can make one second-guess their instincts,
and waver on their decisions which is not a healthy situation for any
family.
If
this is you, then please take heart that as you move through various
seasons of your life it will feel like the sun has gone behind a
cloud, especially if your support systems fail. I have been greatly
blessed by the prayers of friends, and just a few weeks ago, after a
day of most wearing and stressful behaviour I found a card in the
letterbox from a friend of mine who has her own stresses and wearing
behaviour - with a prayer and a kind word. This encouraged me
greatly.
When
you consider the many and varied styles of home education it's
important that a family find the right fit for themselves as they go
through different seasons in their lives. If educational structure
and predictability are important to the family members then ok, find
something that suits there. If everyone is more liquid and random,
then there's a way to maximise the enjoyment and learning
opportunities for them too with unschooling, natural learning,
delight-directed learning or self-directed learning.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
When Children Have A "Holiday From Learning"
A topic recently came up on our facebook group where a mum was concerned that her daughter didn't seem to be motivated to do anything "school work" wise.
I've been thinking about this situation, and other families where I've seen a similar thing happen, so this information isn't just for that mum, its for all parents who are concerned about children having "a holiday from learning".
I believe it was Sandra Dodd who invented the annual "Do Nothing" day. It's absolutely impossible, but it gets the message across to people who say "If I let my child decide what to do they'd do nothing all day."
I may be over-simplifying it, but I think there are two options in relation to life at home with a child: the child does schoolwork or the child does not do schoolwork.
In scenario one the child does schoolwork. Why? Because they are told to, or because they are motivated. If they are doing it because they are told to their enjoyment will be low to nil. If they are self-motivated their enjoyment will be higher (if they are motivated by external means i.e., the promise of a reward they may complete the task, but how much will be retained? I don't agree with everything Alfie Kohn says, but he does speak sense on this topic).
I do accept the fact that some children with low/no motivation actually end up enjoying something once it's been started, yes, I have seen that happen, but on the whole a parent can sense whether there is going to be any interest or not, and a parent can also call a halt to the whole thing when it seems to be dragging or spoiling life in general.
In scenario two the child does not do schoolwork.
So what DO they do all day?
And does the parent choose the child's activities, or the child direct their own?
If the parent is annoyed at everything the child chooses to do it will wreck their relationship.
And so, there needs to be some sort of agreement. As a member of the family team do you want your child to do housework, gardening, or participate in family decisions? Is there room for a small job outside the family? If so, would some of the child's earnings be directed back to the family income? If the child wants to participate in activities such as sport, dancing, art groups etc how would the travel and enrolment/equipment cost be worked out? Is the child being responsible with their own belongings, and those of the parents?
Don't have a meeting about it when everyone is hot under the collar and fresh from an argument.
Perhaps the meeting can take place sitting in the park whilst eating an icecream.
Talk about your concerns for the now, concerns for the future.
LISTEN to your child. They possibly don't share your concerns. Some children are far-sighted, but most have the lovely gift of living IN THE NOW. And so why would they care about what you're saying ... short term/long term plans ... saving money ... learning things now for the future ... qualifications ... job ... volunteering to get experience.
If you have been living with a fractured relationship, with arguing, bitterness, disrespect then I believe that's where you've got to start with your "new project". Mend things.
You probably need to write some ideas down, brainstorm, just get it down and tidy it up later. Don't criticize any suggestions from your child. Don't wreck the flow of ideas and conversation by pointing out the problems with sleeping from 4am till 4pm*, just write it down. Be neutral. You might have to try hard if some of the ideas they are brave enough to share with you are outlandish or bizzare. Ask them to think about jobs they've always liked the look of, or even make a list of things they REALLY don't want to do in the future.
So we've kind of got off the subject of "schoolwork" here, and a parent might feel very frustrated, looking at the POTENTIAL the child has, but seeing it "wasted" by a lazy child who can't be bothered doing anything all day.
TAKE FAITH dear parent! That child who appears "too lazy to learn" is possibly soaking up (learning) many, many things about the world.
My advice - decide on the "must do" list (personal hygiene, looking after belongings, household chores, if they are allowed to participate in things etc) and then leave the child alone. Let them choose what they do all day, within safe and moral bounds.
Let them read, write, paint, draw, cook, walk, run, bike, build things, play with toys, sculpt, craft - with no overseer judging the "worth" of their project. Don't give them a score out of 10, don't correct bits they got wrong, enjoy their enthusiasm and delight in the process.
Would this be hard for you as their parent? Could you agree to trying it for 6 months?
During that 6 months period make an extra effort to include your child in discussions, decisions, research on potential purchases, ask their advice in relation to maintenance on things, don't be so capable that everyone else in the family feels like their existence doesn't make any difference to the family or the world. Make an EXTRA BIG effort to not criticize or correct your child's efforts.
Oh, I could go on and on about this ... but I won't for now as my children have waited patiently whilst I have written this, and something very exciting is happening in our home today, so I must away.
***
*I believe that science is catching up with the fact that children going through a certain body and brain growth period (around 13 - 18 I think??) do need MORE sleep. A consistent bedtime (watch them to see when they get tired, and try to gently, firmly, lovingly and respectfully get them into bed before they get their second wind) is a very healthy thing, but for some children it might be hard to get up in the mornings even if they managed to get themselves off to sleep before midnight. There is certainly a problem with getting into the habit of going to bed later and later, but be aware that some children may get into bed tired at 9.30 and still be staring at the ceiling until 10.30 or 11.00. Discuss it with your child and see what is really going on for them. Don't make rules just for the sake of it, try and find something that really works for them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)