I
just recently had the opportunity to speak to a group of home educating
mummies. Here are my notes, which I intended to stick to, but not
surprisingly, I went wildly off-course - covering the majority
eventually, but also adding other things that God brought to my mind. I
only had 15 mins to speak, and so for those of you who attended and
wanted to see the written form here it is.
If you ask ten different people what “natural learning” or “unschooling” is you may get ten different answers. So this explanation is just how I see natural learning.
When a child is confidently given permission to learn through their own discoveries, to joy in using their imaginations, running down rabbit trails and soaking up every interesting topic they come across on the way, developing a sound and godly worldview, honing and their logical and philosophical thinking skills, educating themselves and welcoming education from sources they trust – that's natural learning.
For us natural learning could also be called unschooling, or delight-directed learning, or child-led learning – and most definitely ECLECTIC learning. I read, and take information from many different educational styles – just those that suit us. We have freedom to do this with natural learning.
One of the ways our children learn things is when I am familiar with various skills and I keep those facts and figures at the front of my mind, bringing them out very naturally when the child discovers the subject by themselves.
For instance just recently one of my children was making a card for Daddy, and asked me how to spell TAKE. This particular child doesn't get angry if I ask him how he thinks it goes, so I asked “How do you think it goes?”
“I think T and A, then is it C?”
“No – K and then E”
“Ah, ok” And he was very happy.
Later on, when he had finished writing his card, and we had a quiet moment I showed him about how adding E to the end of words changes the sound of the vowel in the word. He was intrigued by this information, and wanted more and more examples. Some days later, out of the blue, he came to me with more examples. So - I was teaching him something – natural learning does allow room for TEACHING – but it has much to do with the attitude and expectation of the one doing the teaching, the attitude and readiness of the one listening, and how far the lesson goes before it can be ended on a good note. I only learned this skill when I went through a Learning Language Arts Through Literature book when an older child asked to do some exercises from that series.
Natural learning can be, for some people, such a strange and OUT THERE sort of a concept – something that only wild and crazy, outside the square people do. Sometimes that's true, but MOST home educators have already stepped outside the square by home educating. And its not uncommon as time goes on that they also start to question and pray about their involvement or detachment from other “mainstream” things – and their lives become something totally different, and often very much more positive. They may practice respectful parenting or attachment parenting, infant potty training, alternative pregnancy and birth practices, baby sign language, vaccination awareness, bed-sharing, herbal and natural health, organics, healthy food supplements … so many lovely things.
Well, for me, the concept of natural learning always seemed SO RIGHT, and so exciting, BUT during those early years of home educating, about 17 years ago, I kept feeling like I WASN'T DOING ENOUGH. And I was never comfortable that natural learning could work. I was also concerned about the feeling that the children were running the show. Surely that wasn't right? Was it? Surely I needed to keep things neat and tidy, have a big stack of work produced by the children to prove they were learning? To be confident that I had taught them everything properly? And was it right that the children were so happy all the time? Like life was mainly one big holiday?
But over time, because we needed to my brain did a major shift in what education really meant. Most of us here are first generation home educators, and it's hard for us BUT PLEASE BELIEVE ME - there is absolutely NO need to teach our children the way we were taught at school. First of all we need to ask God for His wisdom and direction for OUR FAMILY. And then be willing to follow where He leads.
I'm very aware that much of the natural learning information on the internet, and around in society is not from a Biblical worldview, and in time I hope to devote more energy into fixing that, because as a Christian I am TOTALLY AWARE that the sin nature of a child may indeed cause them to want to cut corners, miss things out, take advantage … natural education or unschooling is NOT UNPARENTING – it is not about children growing up rude, self-centred, uneducated, inconsiderate etc etc.
Also - just in case you were wondering where our natural learning, and child-led education beliefs sit on this topic– our family do NOT believe it is wise, in relation to spiritual matters, to give children a smorgesboard of religious information and let them decide which is truth.
Even though there may need to be a major shift in a parent's brain (as there was for me) about TEACHING and LEARNING – a child doesn't have to have that shift – they are born with a joy for natural investigation and learning. I wonder what goes on in their mind when suddenly it all changes around age 3 or 4 when adults decide a child is “READY TO LEARN” and begins TEACHING them things? Not just showing them something, and helping them learn, but actually sitting them down and saying NOW DO THIS.
I am very saddened to see this happening earlier and earlier. Just because a three or four year old can learn to read does it mean his THINKING has matured sufficiently for him to be taking in and analyzing what he is reading? Is it damaging his eyes? Is it turning off a different part of his brain whilst he spends time reading?
I don't consider it is natural that someone would interfere and TAKE OVER the child's learning experiences, shaping them according to an “experts” idea of what is best, directing them, pushing or challenging them to an unhealthy level, holding them back, keeping them away from things they find fascinating because it's not on the plan, forcing them to complete tasks that are a drudgery, painful, frustrating to the point of tears, being inconsiderate of their gifts, and intolerant of their challenges.
I wonder WHEN this became the norm? And WHY? I think it's got a lot to do with the entire flawed school system as started way back for reasons that have NO BEARING on how our families should be raised. And if we take that extremely ineffective school system, and copy it at home, or even gentle it down a bit but basically use the same receipe … well, it's not the most efficient way to learn, or build relationships.
So, for some concrete examples of what natural learning looks like:
Our daughter, at age 12, learns “by herself” by finding her own information, or I might come across things she's expressed an interest in. We always try to think one step further, as in: she likes dolls and she likes art - how about having a go at removing the face from a doll and painting another one one? She's actually quite good at that now. She never gets bored as there are so many lovely things in the world to be studying and having a go at.
Everyone in our family loves books. We have our own library. Even those who can't read love to take a massive pile of books to bed with them. I don't try to analyze what happens in their brain, but it's good!
A child will share with me a startling discovery that is in truth something they have seen or heard many times – but THIS particular time the learning became their own, and they are excited by it.
One of our older children has become involved in a hobby that requires some swift and accurate mathematical manoeuvers. Now that he needs to do it for a purpose his skills have increased rapidly. This sort of account has been retold time and time again by mothers who “unschool” or have “natural learning” families.
One of our children would spend all day in the workshop with Daddy if he could. This particular child has some big challenges so we've decided to concentrate on relationship and character skills, and workshop and household lifeskills. Academics will happen somehow and at the right level and time for this child. This is actually our goal for all the children – but for one in particular most definitely so.
We play games with whiteboards, singing games whilst in the car, we make soft toys and other handcrafts, recite poetry, memorise scripture, tell stories, take photographs, dream about the future, write books, make nature journals, draw and paint, play instruments, cook and clean, grow food, sit and listen, enjoy the seasons, worship the creator, we read LOTS, talk even more, think out loud without fear of scorn, PLEASE open your understanding to the fact that education doesn't only come from a book, or a course. All these things I've just shared come with DEEP and LASTING skills and benefits.
Even though I had always been excited by the idea of natural learning I was still uncomfortable with the fact that children should be allowed to pick and choose, to join in or walk away when they wanted to. But the way things are in our family – the various challenges we face every day because of very bright children who need to change direction a lot or sensory processing difficulties that turn our lives upside down or emotional dysfunction or Asperger's Syndrome which nobody quite understand unless they live with it – well, with all those challenges we have settled into natural learning BECAUSE WE HAD TO – and I am very, very blessed that God showed us this way of learning BECAUSE IT WORKS – and I am so confident of it now that our oldest two are 19 and 22. If you have children with no particular diagnosis or difficulty then natural learning would be AMAZING FUN and such a joy, and build such beautiful relationships. Don't think it is just for people who NEED it!
What does our natural learning home look like?
Our day is structured around meals and a quiet time after lunch for 30 mins to an hour.
So our learning time runs from the minute a person opens their eyes in the morning to after they go to sleep – with their brain still processing lots of lovely thoughts.
I DO NOT constantly worry myself over “what are they learning?” “is this activity they are doing educational?” My mindset has changed for the better and this is no longer an issue. Most days.
Back to our living space:
We have eight people living in a very small space, and over time God has given me a love and appreciation for our house that I am very grateful for.
I would, however, like to eventually make our lounge a little larger to accommodate the number of games that are played at any one time. We've chosen to have a big, round, low table and child-sized chairs in the lounge which is where the children set up games so the baby doesn't get them, they draw, colour, cut, model, sometimes write, I start things off and they come in on them if they're interested. But having that child-sized table available for those things makes a huge difference to the family. Sometimes I take the table away so we can have more space in the lounge, but when the table comes back it is fresh and exciting, and it gets used in new ways. Rotating resources and furniture often brings new interest.
Beside the table I have two sets of small plastic drawers that hold pens, pencils, coloured pens and pencils, paper and then each child has their own drawer for things they are working on at this time – whether it be an activity or puzzle book, some handwriting, card supplies, maths book – we have Math-U-See for the older children which they might either get out themselves, or I get out if they are wandering around looking for something to do.
My husband has reduced the size of one of our bedrooms and made the space into a “storeroom” so we can keep our puzzles, games and toys in some sort of order. We spend most of our “school” money on books, art supplies, puzzles, logic games, and other fun things like Lego, magnet sets and various miniatures. I also keep my eye out when we are going round op-shops for things to add to their stock of “nice things to play with” - things that arn't specifically toys, but get used in many games.
We live in the middle of a paddock which is a blessing, and a difficulty, but mostly a blessing, and our neighbours are far enough away that they don't mind the noise the children make outside.
I have researched a lot of ideas from various sources and invented my own unnamed and unpublished as yet – yearly plan - which is a seasonal-based list of ideas and things to study. When I say “Study” I mean that sometimes we casually talk about things (for instance, we play with mirrors – setting up games on them, or nature displays, and talk about them, saving any extremely “science-ey” questions for Daddy when he gets home – or during autumn we often study deciduous trees – we will look at them, talk about them, collect some leaves – all over a period of days or weeks, just naturally as it happens, and then again the next year and so on - and I am gauging my children's interest so I don't kill their enjoyment of the topic). THAT is an incredibly huge part of what I do, and anyone who has heard me speak before knows that I endeavour to never KILL THE CHILDREN'S INTEREST IN THINGS, OR THE POTENTIAL FOR INTEREST IN THINGS.
Once again - natural learning is not so much about TEACHING children, but FACILITATING natural learning. I endeavour to “strew the path” with lovely resources, information and experiences which they will either glance at, become interested in or ignore. We cannot force a child to learn anything, we cannot force them to RETAIN any knowledge – but information they have gathered themselves, or have approached you to give them – this information is often retained, and tends to go deep into their minds to be turned over, and connected to other thoughts.
I recently read where a mother had chalked a 1 – 100 chart on their driveway. The children were intrigued, and when she finished she stepped back and let them do whatever they wanted with it. She said they played far more games with it than she could have figured out. She started the game, and left them to it. That is effective facilitating.
I understand why people are attracted to “schooly” type resources that are very attractively packaged, and promise the experience of organisation, peace and success. From full curricula and lesson planners to neat and tidy diary type planners, and even now I often look at those things and think “actually that might be good” but I believe our money and my time is better spent the way we are doing things now.
May I encourage you to buy nice things for your own hobbies – within sensible limits? Please don't lose the essence of who you really are, and who God created you to be. Especially if your husband loves that side of your personality. Don't lose it. Your children are watching you more closely than you may realise – figuring out what an adult life looks like – what adult relationships look like. You influence them so much by being interested in things yourself. Many of my hobbies have spilled over into the children's lives – mostly because they have come alongside with no pressure or expectation from me.
Have you ever had that horrible feeling that says:
THE MORE TIME, EFFORT AND MONEY I PUT INTO TEACHING SOMETHING THE MORE I FEEL OFFENDED AND UNLOVED WHEN NOBODY IS INTERESTED AND NOTHING IS RETAINED!
Well that feeling often comes from pressured teaching, expectations on what should be achieved. It is a horrible poison that can infect our families and produce a whole lot of mud days.
When a child is interested in a subject then they will remember much of what they do. When the expectation is not piled on them to remember all they have done – when you know that their knowledge will grow slowly, naturally, then a child is free from the pressure, and will enjoy the pursuit of knowledge and with it WISDOM.
We must watch our children to see their chosen style of learning – do they prefer a little information shared, and more to discover themselves? One of our children asks “what does that say?” and if we are reading to him he says “Where does it say that?” This same child will enjoy studying a picture and being asked questions such as “where are the frogs?” and “how many paint brushes are there?” Other children will be annoyed by these questions. Your job – work out what sort of child you have, and tailor their natural learning experience to them.
Remember – to “Strew the Path” means to place opportunities and resources within reach of the child to allow them to pick up and run with whatever grabs their attention. Yes it can seem messy, and no, you probably won't have the satisfied feeling of a stack of neatly produced work. BUT what is the cost of that stack of neatly presented work - mentally, physcially and to your relationship?
Just recently I came across information regarding teaching children philosophy with the use of children's literature. I asked two of my older childrent to have an open mind about the idea, and to let me know their thoughts. One child said it would wreck the story to have questions asked about it (which was in line with what John Taylor Gatto refers to in his story about teaching a class using the novel “Moby Dick”). This child said that they would not want to read the book again afterwards. I asked this child if the logic or philosophical skills one could potentially learn would be worth it. This child said “But I know those things anyway.”
I asked: “How do you know them?”
“I just do, I don't know.”
On reflection, I shouldn't have been surprised – I've allowed this child the freedom to explore many thoughts, form theories of their own, discuss many, many things – to be totally comfortable and excited about THINKING.
Another of my children, when asked about using children's fiction to teach philosophy said it was a good idea – if done respectfully, sensitively and naturally – but totally dependent on the learning style of the child you were presenting it to. This child is very philosophical too, and I would guess most home educated children who are given the freedom to discuss things with their parents would be.
I read about a little girl in kindergarten - filling in an exam paper whilst the teacher hovered over her. The pictures on the test showed a bunch of flowers, a hat and a vase. The teacher explained - “Where do the flowers go?” The little girl drew a line from the flowers to the hat, and the vase. It was the WRONG answer.
I have several children who, given that same question probably would have answered that question WRONG too – doing something like cutting the flowers out, drawing a man under the hat, and turning the vase picture into a canon.
But I've learned to view this sort of thing very differently over the years, I joy in my children's imagination, their ability to think outside the box, and I have finally come to a place where I know they will be able to “tow the line” as adults when they need to.
If you only take one thing away from this talk I would like you to look at your children and discern whether they are really learning and enjoying learning, and developing wonderful relationships in their family, or are they only GIVING THE APPEARANCE OF LEARNING?
Were they like that when they were one, or two or three … or did they have a joy in discovery?
And if you totally agree with me about this, but you're still thinking “Hmm … but it just can't work – children still have to learn that there are things in life they need to do whether they like it or not.”
I DEFINITELY agree that children have to do some things – but if we pick our battles wisely those things should be more along the lines of cutting the grass, taking the rubbish out, brushing their teeth, setting goals for saving money etc.
Now that my perception of life and education has changed it saddens me toI see people still thinking that “educational or academic advancement” is the primary means of teaching their children traits like
persistance
consistency
dependability
scheduling
reliable work habits
These character traits come from living real life, and when the academic stuff is left to just happen, with your support and appropriate involvement – well, it just happens! And it happens at JUST the right moment when your child's mental maturity FOR THAT PARTICULAR PIECE OF INFORMATION blossoms open.
Other thoughts or fallacies that pop into people's minds against natural learning might be:
“They need to know that I am the boss, I can't have children drifting around all day, doing what they like with no boundaries. It doesn't sound Biblical at all. Doesn't God say “Children obey your parents in the Lord”? Sounds too airy fairy for me – new age ...” “I left my children alone all day they would just play.” or “how does that sit with the Ministry of Education?”
Well, I do have answers for all those questions, but I don't have time to address all those thoughts right now. So the solution I've come up with is to create a facebook page, and a website with articles to support people interested in natural learning from a totally Biblical viewpoint. This is still all new, and I don't have much time to spend on it right now, but it's something my friend Toni and I have prayerfully put before our husbands, and before the Lord, and we all believe it is needed right now to help and encourage people who want more sunshine, rainbows and sparkly bits in their lives.
If you ask ten different people what “natural learning” or “unschooling” is you may get ten different answers. So this explanation is just how I see natural learning.
When a child is confidently given permission to learn through their own discoveries, to joy in using their imaginations, running down rabbit trails and soaking up every interesting topic they come across on the way, developing a sound and godly worldview, honing and their logical and philosophical thinking skills, educating themselves and welcoming education from sources they trust – that's natural learning.
For us natural learning could also be called unschooling, or delight-directed learning, or child-led learning – and most definitely ECLECTIC learning. I read, and take information from many different educational styles – just those that suit us. We have freedom to do this with natural learning.
One of the ways our children learn things is when I am familiar with various skills and I keep those facts and figures at the front of my mind, bringing them out very naturally when the child discovers the subject by themselves.
For instance just recently one of my children was making a card for Daddy, and asked me how to spell TAKE. This particular child doesn't get angry if I ask him how he thinks it goes, so I asked “How do you think it goes?”
“I think T and A, then is it C?”
“No – K and then E”
“Ah, ok” And he was very happy.
Later on, when he had finished writing his card, and we had a quiet moment I showed him about how adding E to the end of words changes the sound of the vowel in the word. He was intrigued by this information, and wanted more and more examples. Some days later, out of the blue, he came to me with more examples. So - I was teaching him something – natural learning does allow room for TEACHING – but it has much to do with the attitude and expectation of the one doing the teaching, the attitude and readiness of the one listening, and how far the lesson goes before it can be ended on a good note. I only learned this skill when I went through a Learning Language Arts Through Literature book when an older child asked to do some exercises from that series.
Natural learning can be, for some people, such a strange and OUT THERE sort of a concept – something that only wild and crazy, outside the square people do. Sometimes that's true, but MOST home educators have already stepped outside the square by home educating. And its not uncommon as time goes on that they also start to question and pray about their involvement or detachment from other “mainstream” things – and their lives become something totally different, and often very much more positive. They may practice respectful parenting or attachment parenting, infant potty training, alternative pregnancy and birth practices, baby sign language, vaccination awareness, bed-sharing, herbal and natural health, organics, healthy food supplements … so many lovely things.
Well, for me, the concept of natural learning always seemed SO RIGHT, and so exciting, BUT during those early years of home educating, about 17 years ago, I kept feeling like I WASN'T DOING ENOUGH. And I was never comfortable that natural learning could work. I was also concerned about the feeling that the children were running the show. Surely that wasn't right? Was it? Surely I needed to keep things neat and tidy, have a big stack of work produced by the children to prove they were learning? To be confident that I had taught them everything properly? And was it right that the children were so happy all the time? Like life was mainly one big holiday?
But over time, because we needed to my brain did a major shift in what education really meant. Most of us here are first generation home educators, and it's hard for us BUT PLEASE BELIEVE ME - there is absolutely NO need to teach our children the way we were taught at school. First of all we need to ask God for His wisdom and direction for OUR FAMILY. And then be willing to follow where He leads.
I'm very aware that much of the natural learning information on the internet, and around in society is not from a Biblical worldview, and in time I hope to devote more energy into fixing that, because as a Christian I am TOTALLY AWARE that the sin nature of a child may indeed cause them to want to cut corners, miss things out, take advantage … natural education or unschooling is NOT UNPARENTING – it is not about children growing up rude, self-centred, uneducated, inconsiderate etc etc.
Also - just in case you were wondering where our natural learning, and child-led education beliefs sit on this topic– our family do NOT believe it is wise, in relation to spiritual matters, to give children a smorgesboard of religious information and let them decide which is truth.
Even though there may need to be a major shift in a parent's brain (as there was for me) about TEACHING and LEARNING – a child doesn't have to have that shift – they are born with a joy for natural investigation and learning. I wonder what goes on in their mind when suddenly it all changes around age 3 or 4 when adults decide a child is “READY TO LEARN” and begins TEACHING them things? Not just showing them something, and helping them learn, but actually sitting them down and saying NOW DO THIS.
I am very saddened to see this happening earlier and earlier. Just because a three or four year old can learn to read does it mean his THINKING has matured sufficiently for him to be taking in and analyzing what he is reading? Is it damaging his eyes? Is it turning off a different part of his brain whilst he spends time reading?
I don't consider it is natural that someone would interfere and TAKE OVER the child's learning experiences, shaping them according to an “experts” idea of what is best, directing them, pushing or challenging them to an unhealthy level, holding them back, keeping them away from things they find fascinating because it's not on the plan, forcing them to complete tasks that are a drudgery, painful, frustrating to the point of tears, being inconsiderate of their gifts, and intolerant of their challenges.
I wonder WHEN this became the norm? And WHY? I think it's got a lot to do with the entire flawed school system as started way back for reasons that have NO BEARING on how our families should be raised. And if we take that extremely ineffective school system, and copy it at home, or even gentle it down a bit but basically use the same receipe … well, it's not the most efficient way to learn, or build relationships.
So, for some concrete examples of what natural learning looks like:
Our daughter, at age 12, learns “by herself” by finding her own information, or I might come across things she's expressed an interest in. We always try to think one step further, as in: she likes dolls and she likes art - how about having a go at removing the face from a doll and painting another one one? She's actually quite good at that now. She never gets bored as there are so many lovely things in the world to be studying and having a go at.
Everyone in our family loves books. We have our own library. Even those who can't read love to take a massive pile of books to bed with them. I don't try to analyze what happens in their brain, but it's good!
A child will share with me a startling discovery that is in truth something they have seen or heard many times – but THIS particular time the learning became their own, and they are excited by it.
One of our older children has become involved in a hobby that requires some swift and accurate mathematical manoeuvers. Now that he needs to do it for a purpose his skills have increased rapidly. This sort of account has been retold time and time again by mothers who “unschool” or have “natural learning” families.
One of our children would spend all day in the workshop with Daddy if he could. This particular child has some big challenges so we've decided to concentrate on relationship and character skills, and workshop and household lifeskills. Academics will happen somehow and at the right level and time for this child. This is actually our goal for all the children – but for one in particular most definitely so.
We play games with whiteboards, singing games whilst in the car, we make soft toys and other handcrafts, recite poetry, memorise scripture, tell stories, take photographs, dream about the future, write books, make nature journals, draw and paint, play instruments, cook and clean, grow food, sit and listen, enjoy the seasons, worship the creator, we read LOTS, talk even more, think out loud without fear of scorn, PLEASE open your understanding to the fact that education doesn't only come from a book, or a course. All these things I've just shared come with DEEP and LASTING skills and benefits.
Even though I had always been excited by the idea of natural learning I was still uncomfortable with the fact that children should be allowed to pick and choose, to join in or walk away when they wanted to. But the way things are in our family – the various challenges we face every day because of very bright children who need to change direction a lot or sensory processing difficulties that turn our lives upside down or emotional dysfunction or Asperger's Syndrome which nobody quite understand unless they live with it – well, with all those challenges we have settled into natural learning BECAUSE WE HAD TO – and I am very, very blessed that God showed us this way of learning BECAUSE IT WORKS – and I am so confident of it now that our oldest two are 19 and 22. If you have children with no particular diagnosis or difficulty then natural learning would be AMAZING FUN and such a joy, and build such beautiful relationships. Don't think it is just for people who NEED it!
What does our natural learning home look like?
Our day is structured around meals and a quiet time after lunch for 30 mins to an hour.
So our learning time runs from the minute a person opens their eyes in the morning to after they go to sleep – with their brain still processing lots of lovely thoughts.
I DO NOT constantly worry myself over “what are they learning?” “is this activity they are doing educational?” My mindset has changed for the better and this is no longer an issue. Most days.
Back to our living space:
We have eight people living in a very small space, and over time God has given me a love and appreciation for our house that I am very grateful for.
I would, however, like to eventually make our lounge a little larger to accommodate the number of games that are played at any one time. We've chosen to have a big, round, low table and child-sized chairs in the lounge which is where the children set up games so the baby doesn't get them, they draw, colour, cut, model, sometimes write, I start things off and they come in on them if they're interested. But having that child-sized table available for those things makes a huge difference to the family. Sometimes I take the table away so we can have more space in the lounge, but when the table comes back it is fresh and exciting, and it gets used in new ways. Rotating resources and furniture often brings new interest.
Beside the table I have two sets of small plastic drawers that hold pens, pencils, coloured pens and pencils, paper and then each child has their own drawer for things they are working on at this time – whether it be an activity or puzzle book, some handwriting, card supplies, maths book – we have Math-U-See for the older children which they might either get out themselves, or I get out if they are wandering around looking for something to do.
My husband has reduced the size of one of our bedrooms and made the space into a “storeroom” so we can keep our puzzles, games and toys in some sort of order. We spend most of our “school” money on books, art supplies, puzzles, logic games, and other fun things like Lego, magnet sets and various miniatures. I also keep my eye out when we are going round op-shops for things to add to their stock of “nice things to play with” - things that arn't specifically toys, but get used in many games.
We live in the middle of a paddock which is a blessing, and a difficulty, but mostly a blessing, and our neighbours are far enough away that they don't mind the noise the children make outside.
I have researched a lot of ideas from various sources and invented my own unnamed and unpublished as yet – yearly plan - which is a seasonal-based list of ideas and things to study. When I say “Study” I mean that sometimes we casually talk about things (for instance, we play with mirrors – setting up games on them, or nature displays, and talk about them, saving any extremely “science-ey” questions for Daddy when he gets home – or during autumn we often study deciduous trees – we will look at them, talk about them, collect some leaves – all over a period of days or weeks, just naturally as it happens, and then again the next year and so on - and I am gauging my children's interest so I don't kill their enjoyment of the topic). THAT is an incredibly huge part of what I do, and anyone who has heard me speak before knows that I endeavour to never KILL THE CHILDREN'S INTEREST IN THINGS, OR THE POTENTIAL FOR INTEREST IN THINGS.
Once again - natural learning is not so much about TEACHING children, but FACILITATING natural learning. I endeavour to “strew the path” with lovely resources, information and experiences which they will either glance at, become interested in or ignore. We cannot force a child to learn anything, we cannot force them to RETAIN any knowledge – but information they have gathered themselves, or have approached you to give them – this information is often retained, and tends to go deep into their minds to be turned over, and connected to other thoughts.
I recently read where a mother had chalked a 1 – 100 chart on their driveway. The children were intrigued, and when she finished she stepped back and let them do whatever they wanted with it. She said they played far more games with it than she could have figured out. She started the game, and left them to it. That is effective facilitating.
I understand why people are attracted to “schooly” type resources that are very attractively packaged, and promise the experience of organisation, peace and success. From full curricula and lesson planners to neat and tidy diary type planners, and even now I often look at those things and think “actually that might be good” but I believe our money and my time is better spent the way we are doing things now.
May I encourage you to buy nice things for your own hobbies – within sensible limits? Please don't lose the essence of who you really are, and who God created you to be. Especially if your husband loves that side of your personality. Don't lose it. Your children are watching you more closely than you may realise – figuring out what an adult life looks like – what adult relationships look like. You influence them so much by being interested in things yourself. Many of my hobbies have spilled over into the children's lives – mostly because they have come alongside with no pressure or expectation from me.
Have you ever had that horrible feeling that says:
THE MORE TIME, EFFORT AND MONEY I PUT INTO TEACHING SOMETHING THE MORE I FEEL OFFENDED AND UNLOVED WHEN NOBODY IS INTERESTED AND NOTHING IS RETAINED!
Well that feeling often comes from pressured teaching, expectations on what should be achieved. It is a horrible poison that can infect our families and produce a whole lot of mud days.
When a child is interested in a subject then they will remember much of what they do. When the expectation is not piled on them to remember all they have done – when you know that their knowledge will grow slowly, naturally, then a child is free from the pressure, and will enjoy the pursuit of knowledge and with it WISDOM.
We must watch our children to see their chosen style of learning – do they prefer a little information shared, and more to discover themselves? One of our children asks “what does that say?” and if we are reading to him he says “Where does it say that?” This same child will enjoy studying a picture and being asked questions such as “where are the frogs?” and “how many paint brushes are there?” Other children will be annoyed by these questions. Your job – work out what sort of child you have, and tailor their natural learning experience to them.
Remember – to “Strew the Path” means to place opportunities and resources within reach of the child to allow them to pick up and run with whatever grabs their attention. Yes it can seem messy, and no, you probably won't have the satisfied feeling of a stack of neatly produced work. BUT what is the cost of that stack of neatly presented work - mentally, physcially and to your relationship?
Just recently I came across information regarding teaching children philosophy with the use of children's literature. I asked two of my older childrent to have an open mind about the idea, and to let me know their thoughts. One child said it would wreck the story to have questions asked about it (which was in line with what John Taylor Gatto refers to in his story about teaching a class using the novel “Moby Dick”). This child said that they would not want to read the book again afterwards. I asked this child if the logic or philosophical skills one could potentially learn would be worth it. This child said “But I know those things anyway.”
I asked: “How do you know them?”
“I just do, I don't know.”
On reflection, I shouldn't have been surprised – I've allowed this child the freedom to explore many thoughts, form theories of their own, discuss many, many things – to be totally comfortable and excited about THINKING.
Another of my children, when asked about using children's fiction to teach philosophy said it was a good idea – if done respectfully, sensitively and naturally – but totally dependent on the learning style of the child you were presenting it to. This child is very philosophical too, and I would guess most home educated children who are given the freedom to discuss things with their parents would be.
I read about a little girl in kindergarten - filling in an exam paper whilst the teacher hovered over her. The pictures on the test showed a bunch of flowers, a hat and a vase. The teacher explained - “Where do the flowers go?” The little girl drew a line from the flowers to the hat, and the vase. It was the WRONG answer.
I have several children who, given that same question probably would have answered that question WRONG too – doing something like cutting the flowers out, drawing a man under the hat, and turning the vase picture into a canon.
But I've learned to view this sort of thing very differently over the years, I joy in my children's imagination, their ability to think outside the box, and I have finally come to a place where I know they will be able to “tow the line” as adults when they need to.
If you only take one thing away from this talk I would like you to look at your children and discern whether they are really learning and enjoying learning, and developing wonderful relationships in their family, or are they only GIVING THE APPEARANCE OF LEARNING?
Were they like that when they were one, or two or three … or did they have a joy in discovery?
And if you totally agree with me about this, but you're still thinking “Hmm … but it just can't work – children still have to learn that there are things in life they need to do whether they like it or not.”
I DEFINITELY agree that children have to do some things – but if we pick our battles wisely those things should be more along the lines of cutting the grass, taking the rubbish out, brushing their teeth, setting goals for saving money etc.
Now that my perception of life and education has changed it saddens me toI see people still thinking that “educational or academic advancement” is the primary means of teaching their children traits like
persistance
consistency
dependability
scheduling
reliable work habits
These character traits come from living real life, and when the academic stuff is left to just happen, with your support and appropriate involvement – well, it just happens! And it happens at JUST the right moment when your child's mental maturity FOR THAT PARTICULAR PIECE OF INFORMATION blossoms open.
Other thoughts or fallacies that pop into people's minds against natural learning might be:
“They need to know that I am the boss, I can't have children drifting around all day, doing what they like with no boundaries. It doesn't sound Biblical at all. Doesn't God say “Children obey your parents in the Lord”? Sounds too airy fairy for me – new age ...” “I left my children alone all day they would just play.” or “how does that sit with the Ministry of Education?”
Well, I do have answers for all those questions, but I don't have time to address all those thoughts right now. So the solution I've come up with is to create a facebook page, and a website with articles to support people interested in natural learning from a totally Biblical viewpoint. This is still all new, and I don't have much time to spend on it right now, but it's something my friend Toni and I have prayerfully put before our husbands, and before the Lord, and we all believe it is needed right now to help and encourage people who want more sunshine, rainbows and sparkly bits in their lives.
