HOME EDUCATION and the QUIRKY CHILD - Part Thirteen

 

Let me now talk about 'FLOW' or being “In The Zone”

When an adult or child is deep in play, when they are absorbed in a task, a game, work or a conversation then they are said to be in “flow”. That's the name psychologists give it. People in the 70's and 80's might have called it “being in the groove” or “being in the zone”!!

Some people expend a lot of energy units trying to find out HOW to be “in the zone”. It's got a lot to do with what you are passionate about, what sparks your interest, what you love. So children who are given freedom to spark in many directions will naturally come across something that grabs their interest and want to pursue it deeper. We have found one really good tool for this is Pinterest – which if you haven’t heard of it is basically an online, less messy version of having a scrapbook of pictures you like.

Supervised use of the internet for older children can be very beneficial for tools like Pinterest. The other day our daughter said she’d like to get back into it after a break of a few months (she has been extremely busy with playing the piano and sharing the care of our new baby with me). I suggested she make a whole new board. “Hmm .. what about?” she said. I rattled off some things she’s been talking about lately, and some ideas off the top of my head “topiary, hair styles, jewellery, stained glass, bags, art supplies …” she had some ideas to run with and she worked very happily until someone else wanted to use the computer. When I look at my Pinterest boards I think how wonderful it is to have so many rich and varied visuals of things I like – every basket, craft, shoe, skirt, headcovering, doll, landscape, art idea – every single picture is something I chose because it appealed to me. If, one day, I am bored, then I can go to my Pinterest boards and be inspired with something to do.

Actually, handcrafts are MAJORLY important in a person’s life. Every child should have the opportunity to have a go at various handcrafts. Charlotte Mason advised that those crafts should be USEFUL and BEAUTIFUL. Look up Charlotte Mason – she’s got a lot of good things to say about raising children.

When a child figures out what they are interested in, what challenges and excites them then they can engage in an activity and get in ‘flow’ or ‘in the zone'. We can never measure brain growth and lessons in concentration and satisfaction gained during these moments. But I believe we must trust that that being ‘in flow’ is VERY HEALTHY for adults and children alike.

WHAT CAN I PROVIDE FOR NATURAL HOME EDUCATION?

I believe the most precious things for a child are

1) time with a wise and knowledgeable person who loves them and

2) time to be quiet and think, even if they want to leave an activity suddenly because something has interested them so greatly that they want to think it out quietly.

Put a lot of value on conversations, dialogue back and forth, listening to what the children are thinking. Draw thoughts from them, but be sensitive about whether to expound on their thoughts or leave them alone. If a child is puzzling something out they might not want a solution given to them. If someone is sharing their dream they might not want an analysis made of it.

For some children it can be extremely challenging communicating their thoughts. And it can also be very frustrating if people try to rush them, guess what they are going to say, or try and finish the end of their sentence. We have a child who struggles with keeping thoughts in his brain if someone interrupts, or if his thought process is interfered with in any way. He can't hang on to the thought during the interruption. His mind goes blank. It infuriates him.

In closing I’d like to say that learning naturally with quirky children often seems messy, chaotic, confusing and unfulfilling. But just like this talk that started out as notes scribbled at 2am when I was feeding the baby, and then morphed into a jumbled of typed notes, eventually some order started to appear. It’s only when our quirky children are older, and they thank you for not sending them to school, thank you for giving them time and space to grow into who they are, and they look at their quirky friends who did not have that same freedom – then you see there was order, there was reason, there was a massive amount of learning going on, and you’ll be incredibly grateful you did it this way.

Our quirky children can possess abilities to achieve in some incredible areas like: ability to concentrate, dependability, honesty, loyalty, analytical skills, ability to become a different persona thereby entertaining and teaching others, enthusiasm for subjects of interest, artistic, mathematical … the list goes on, I have yet to the find the end!

So if your child is quirky, or even if they are regular, but ESPECIALLY if your child is quirky, please provide a safe and comfortable childhood for them with just the right amount, but not an overwhelming number of challenges. And when your quirky children present you with all sorts of difficult behaviour every hour of the day we MUST REMEMBER that we need to REJOICE in who our children are, and do everything we can to allow their iridescence to shine.

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This ends the extremely lengthy series of articles from my early 2015 talk.  Thanks for reading it - I hope you found something enjoyable/thought provoking/a blessing to your family.   Please don't hesitate to leave a comment to encourage, or if necessary, tell me off for something I've said wrong!