DISCUSSIONS TO AVOID DISAPPOINTMENT

Right upfront in your parenting journey it's a great idea to agree together on behaviour that your family will not participate in, and why, so when a situation arises you can decide where you are on the matter.

You could make a list to discuss, and add more things as they come up naturally, or as you see them happening to other people – things like:

Would you leave your children sitting in the car without you? I caution you to NEVER leave your child or children alone in the car whist you go into a shop. I realise the time and energy it takes to get children out of car seats and into shops, but PLEASE don't leave them in the car. This needs to be discussed between husband/wife/caregiver so everyone uses the same rules.

How did you used to feel about toddlers in restaurants before you had children? And how do you feel about them now you’re a parent?

Are you comfortable with leaving your child somewhere for an overnight stay?

.Would you take your child to a public bar for a meal?

Would you leave your child in the Children's area of the library while you go the Adult area?

Is it right to let children have freedom in shops to browse on their own while you are in a totally different aisle? And when shopping with children do you think it acceptable or unacceptable for children to handle goods that are for sale?

Will your family participate in or watch sporting events or take part in competitions etc. Is your family concerned about the heart and soul attitude that can come from entering into competitions against other people?

Do you feel a desire to start early with academics? As you will read later, I think there's far too much other important stuff going on in the life of a young child to waste on pushing them academically!

If you leave your child with someone else are you confident that they are responsible, morally sound and loving enough to protect, respect and respond correctly to your child?

Are you concerned when you enter an electronics shop and your child is confronted with a wall of television screens that flash horrible images onto their mind? 

What sort of food are your family going to eat, and will there be room for making one-off decisions? 

If there is disagreement about any of these sorts of issues then it is much healthier to work something out RIGHT NOW than to leave them in hopes they might go away. You might both need time to think about them if a united decision can't be made, but don't let it affect your relationship in a damaging way, and don't let any disagreements upset the children.