Being With Baby

I was talking recently with a new Dad – his little girl is only 8 months old and he is convinced of the benefits of bonding with babies and children, but is also aware of the fact that unless there is money coming in to the family they can't survive. I would never tell anyone what to do, and I don't know anything about their circumstances, but I heartily confirmed for him that the early years are so VERY important for bonding, and you can't go back and redo those years when the child gets to 2 years old, or 4 or 6 or any age. I did however, share a little advice that I think is so very important – live as simply as possible, do without, pare things down – it isn't forever, just while baby is little … then review things in a few years. Living simply means different things to different people.

We live simply, but we still have what some people might call “luxuries”. We have food luxuries that others may not be able to afford: jam, tomato sauce, peanut butter - we are able to budget enough money to pay the power bill and the rates etc when they come in, we have a small car for Daddy to go to work in (it's very old, but reliable!), we have a van for Mummy and the children to go shopping in and daytrips to the beach … we choose secondhand clothes (apart from shoes and underwear), we choose mainly secondhand toys (one reason is because the old toys are usually much better quality than the new ones) and we enjoy our environment for fun (the photo shows our little guy wrapped in a blanket after playing in the mud)

we have a lot! But yes, compared to many people in this society and culture – we live very simply.

There are many decisions to be made if your income doesn't match your outgoings – or worse, if your outgoings far exceed your income. Can you reduce outgoings? There are a lot of publications that give advice and hints about saving money – the regular advice goes something like: don’t have takeaways, stop smoking, don’t go to the pub, don't rent DVDs, take the bus not the car, don't have that overseas holiday … but there are more REAL and far-reaching things to consider – Do you have pets that are costing a reasonable amount of money? Perhaps you may have to give up any pets for a few years. should you only have one vehicle, and move a small rental accommodation near the shops so Mummy and baby don't need a car for a few years? Could Daddy bike to work? Take the bus? Go with someone else? Growing up in the 70's it was the norm for families to only have one car. My Dad took the car to work most days, but he biked on Thursdays so Mum could take my Nana and Great Aunt out to do their weekly shopping. It gets more difficult if you are rural, or if you have 6 children! But friends of ours were rural with 6 children and they biked everywhere with children on the back of their bikes until they were old enough to have their own bikes. They chose a certain lifestyle and then kept their outgoings within their income.

It is my opinion (many people will disagree, but this is my blog and I so I can say what I like!) it is my opinion that it is often a bad decision financially, and a very bad decision emotionally and physically to have Mummy working. Look at all factors closely when considering this option.